As someone who frequents here, I just have to say welcome!
As for the general questions, these aren't exactly my forte since I don't play the main games much (only have access to the 5 PC98 games), but a general rule is practice makes perfect, as generic as that sounds. You'll find yourself getting a little farther each time. (also, don't be afraid to play on easy. it's there for a reason!) If you want specific tips, learn to identify "streaming" spells, which is to say spells that are aimed AT you and can be dodged by a simple movement, and "static" spells, which take a pattern to them. Many spells combine both of them, though, so practice helps to identify them. Can't really weigh in on the fangames since I haven't played many outside of touhou puppet play.
As for the hacks, most of the ones on here are geared on balance, such as Faith & Prayer as well as Touhoumon Blue. (both can be found in the fan-made projects sub-forum) As for the Achiya hacks, that's kind of a given with his stuff, really. Something to note since you are new is that there are two "versions" of touhoumon so to speak. 1.5, and 1.8. the difference mainly comes down to how puppets evolve and the type chart. going to get a bit in-depth on this one so I'm going to put this one in a tag.
Spoiler
1.5 generally stays closer to how vanilla pokemon works, and the type chart is almost identical, although most hacks give dark a weakness to steel. Evolution is chibi to normal to EX (to a few alternate forms, depending on the hack) Last words may or may not be included as a fourth stage on top of this, or they may be included as a branch from EX forms. Most of these hacks are older, and don't feature the physical/special split. (although the version of blue on here has it) Touhoumon blue, Touhoumon ordinary version, and touhoumon merry's version are examples of 1.5 hacks.
1.8, on the other hand, radically alters the type chart on top of adding 3 new types (heart, faith, and beast) as well as changing how a lot of the other typings interact. (for instance, water is now weak to poison/miasma) Evolution has also been modified to remove the EX forms (with normal forms having around the same power level as 1.5 EX forms) as well as adding alternate forms to most puppets, obtained via shards. There are six shards, each one specializing in a specific theme. (Attack, Defense, Speed, Helper, Tech, and Advent) Examples of 1.8 hacks include Touhoumon purple, as well as the previously mentioned faith & prayer and Touhoumon UnNamed (although I wouldn't advise this one, the difficulty's pretty high...)
There are a few hacks that blend both styles, such as Touhoumon AE as well as Touhoumon tweaked (my own hack, which is about ready to be updated, and is pretty buggy as a result)
Hopefully that should help out a bit if you were confused about that. Finally, to answer the other question, it does get pretty tedious, but a good rule of thumb is that the most recent route opened may not be the best for grinding. I generally find granite cave better for grinding at that point because the puppets there are easy to defeat, as opposed to route 110 having CDaiyousei and CMystia, both of which are pains to deal with.
Sorry if I rambled on a bit, but that should answer most of the touhoumon-related questions. If you have any others, feel free to ask!
